Sometimes I regret that I wasn't more mischievous as a kid. I don't really mean I wish I would've gone around getting girls pregnant and spreading STDs, burning down buildings, killing people, etc. but just other things, sluffing* class, sneaking out at night, toilet papering, etc.

I feel like this created an unhealthy fear of criticism or discipline instead of getting used to the fact that not everyone will agree or like what you do or have to say, I was constantly sort of weaseling around trying to please everyone. I wish I would've learned to accept discipline or criticism and then positively bounce back from it instead of just avoiding it like the plague. Even though I have gotten over it some, I still feel like I have a ton of conditioned responses to situations where I avoid disappointing someone or behaving in a way that could generate criticism purely as a knee-jerk reaction without even thinking. Basically this converts into me trying to living up to perceived expectations, which is silly, for multiple reasons.

Also, I wish I would've realized that there is no inherit goodness in rules. Just because a rule exist doesn't mean it should. Some rules are better than other rules. Some rules are more justified than other rules. But as a kid, to me, at times it seemed like every single rule was by default justified and any deviance from rules was "bad" and if I deviated from it, which I did at times anyways, deep down inside I felt guilty and that I would've been better off not having done it. I even at times would feel unnecessary guilt for things that weren't even rules.

And, frankly, I find mischievous people to be a whole lot more interesting than people who are terrified of breaking rules. Mostly because, in my opinion, they usually have a better ability to see things as they really are and think for themselves.

Obviously there needs to be balance in all things, but my point is that I feel that on the spectrum of amount of obedience to rules that both extreme sides are unhealthy and negative. Complete disregard of anything can be dangerous but also absolute regard of everything can have negative impacts too.



*(Side note: I couldn't care less if they call it something else where you're from. It's a word, used to communicate an idea, and if you know what I'm talking about then it's job is finished. Who cares about particulars here. Your vocabulary is not better than mine. Your state is not better than mine. Your culture is not better than mine. Get over yourself and your accent or whatever other stupid, menial, fragile crap you base your self-esteem on.)